.HE.No Longer Mine.

Lot of things happened lately since i'd turned 27th.i thought turning 27 will be fun.but..none of it bring me happiness.i never felt this way before.i never had this devastated+ frustration +sadness feeling like what i felt now.Ya Allah..kuatkan lah diri saye and give me strength to face all this.knape perlu both things happened at the same time?but why me??and knape skarang??like seriously..those had ruined my life now.macamane saye nak face my future nanti.oowhh..pathetic nye saye rase.Ya Allah..kenape bagi saye ujian sedemikian rupe.knape cube untuk jaohkan saye daripade orang yang saye sangat sayang+cinte?i love my family so damn much!and i rather do anything just to make sure that i still have them with me.

tapi kenape bile saye dah 'dapat' my beloved family with me..saye hilang plak the other person that i loved most.tak bole ke saye dapat 2-2??salah ke?berdosa ke??goshh..life's so unfair!!kenape orang laen bole but when it comes to me..i have to let go one of it.WHY??ok Jiyna..your life memang sangat pathetic.you should face the fact that you can't get both of it.this is your destiny.believe on this..[huu]

DEAR AWAK, the one that i love most..

mungkin semalam, tak semua yang saye dapat luahkan.but if you read this..saye harap awak akan paham segala-gala nye..~

maybe sejaoh ni jek yang kite mampu pegi.we can't go more further.cos its impossible for us to do so.mungkin after this..we will learn to appreciate each other.we might not meant for each other..but within this 5 years,dah cukop untuk buktikan yang kite mampu be together as a soulmate.those ups and downs that we'd been thru..~THANK YOU for the precious years+moments.it might an END for us..tapi saye akan cube amek and gune setiap saat yang ade after this,untuk lebih kenal diri saye.and i won't forget every single moments we'd shared together.saye sangat happy sebab Allah bagi saye peluang untuk jumpe and kenal a guy like you.i was so happy sebab first i knew you as one of my close friend..and maybe Allah nak tengok sejaoh mane keserasian kite until we fell for each other as a lover.but unfortunately..we tend to do mistakes.sampaikan kite tak sedar yang those mistakes might lead us to 'this'.we both banyak kekurangan.and kite kene cube perbaiki setiap kekurangan yang ade.saye mintak maaf for my bad behaviour+tantrums.saye tau kekadang saye grumpy.irritating.didn't put my trust on you.bwat awak jeles.pk yang bebukan.jeles tak tentu pasal blablaa..even i did those to you,my feelings to you still remain the same.i still love you.still..~

i still remember our last conversation.it was so harsh.saye tau.tapi awak tau tak i'm having a crucial depression, struggling to find strength untuk keraskan hati to stick on what i've decide.i forced myself.tried so hard to find strength,to spill those 'goodbyes'.walaupon sebenarnye deep down inside..i don't want it to happen.saye taknak!!!!how can i live without you??can i face my life alone??huu..tapi saye tpakse.for our own good.so that kite takkan keep on hurting each other.kite tak penah nak appreciate setiap peluang yang kite ade.YOU..ME..we both same jek!and i know that we need both side to commit to each other.saye mintak maaf bile awak merayu for another one more chance.and i said NO.awak terdiam.saye tau awak dissapointed.so do i..~i have to..and i am sorry..

after this..we both will be on our own way.goshh..definitely that's the hardest thing yang saye tak bole bwat.i don't know how to faced this breakup thingy.i was so weak.felt like i'm losing a part of myself.and yes..i am suffering now walaupon baru beberapa jam it happened.i wonder how's you been doing.do you felt the same thing??huu..~having no one beside except my tears.saye tak tau macamane nak bagitau my family.saye tau derang akan sedeh.saye tau derang akan dissapointed.and my friends..~saye harap awak takkan lupe saye and those things yang kite penah shared before this.you are the best thing i've ever had.and obviously, i won't forget you..~

Dear beloved families and friends, saye mintak maaf sebab i couldn't be able to save this relationship.maafkan saye.and trime kaseh sebab sentiase bagi sokongan and mendoakan hubungan+jodoh saye dengan Daniel slame ni.i did a lot of mistakes and sucha loser..maybe thats why i lose in my own game.thank you so much and jangan penah jemu untuk berdoa untuk saye and Daniel supaye Allah dekatkan kami kalo betol la we're actually meant for each other.saye takkan menolak kalo itu ketentuan-Nya.kalo bukan sekalipon,doakan supaye dijodohkan dengan orang yang lebih baek dari kitorang.once again..thank you!!

P/S: supposed to be yesterday's entry..~